Category Archives: Changed Lives

I grew up in a Christian home and I can never remember a time when my family did not go to church.

Through out my life, I tried hard to be a good Christian and I can remember getting baptized when I was 11 years old. I really wanted with all my heart to make God proud of me but I always felt that there was something missing, there was something wrong. It was a nagging feeling in the back of my mind and I could never quite figure out what it was.

Then at sixteen, through some complicated factors, I finally figured out what had been hanging over my head for all these years. I came to the realization that I had been molested by a family friend. This pushed me over the edge and caused me to become angry at the man who hurt me and at my parents. But my anger was mainly directed at God. How could He allow this to happen to me?

There was something unique about my situation because although I was angry at God, I never stopped believing Him. He was always real, and so was Jesus and His death, but I was so angry and bitter that I started to resent God. I remember being away at University and someone asking me about this. “How can you believe in God?”

I said I believed that God was real and you could see it in nature itself. His work was everywhere from the stars in the sky to the smallest atom in our bodies. Everything He created was specific and for a purpose, whether we understood it or not.

My friend’s next question was, “So why don’t you live like a church person?” My only answer was that for some reason God did not protect me and so I wanted nothing to do with Him. We never talked about God again after that incident.

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